Popping My Burlesque Cherry

I am a huge fan of Burlesque. Ever since I saw a video of Dita Von Teese performing, I have been captivated by the art of seduction these performers exhibit. However, it's not something I ever thought I would participate in. I am not one of those obviously sexy women. I am huge nerd and total klutz, and I have never had any kind of dance training.
So when an actress friend of mine contacted me saying her Burlesque troupe needed more performers for an upcoming show, I surprisingly found myself saying yes without even thinking about it. I had toyed with the idea in my head of taking some classes with a local teacher just to increase my self confidence, and add to my skills as a performer, but I never imagined myself taking to the stage.
As soon as I agreed to the show, the forces of nature started working against me. I had one week to prepare, and no clue how to get from point A to B. I started watching Burlesque videos: Dita Von Teese, the Las Vegas based group, Babes in Sin, and Minnesota's own Sweet Lily Bee. That's when the self doubt kicked into high gear. I was light years away from these highly sensual and stunning performers, but I had agreed to do the show and wasn't going to back out at the last minute. I will admit that I did cross my fingers and hope for a snowstorm.
Also I couldn't access my MP3 files or find any of the music I wanted. I had the files saved on my phone, but I forgot to back them up onto a computer, and when my phone crashed, I lost all of my music. I assumed I would be able to go online and get it back, but the internet at our house was not cooperating.
Not to mention, it was a highly stressful week at work, and I was sidelined with illness on Wednesday. All I wanted to do was sleep, not prepare to humiliate myself onstage, but I try to be a woman of my word, and Saturday morning I found myself in a car with two beautiful Burlesque performers and a National Slam Poet champion, on our way to Virginia, Minnesota. Never heard of it? I hadn't either.
We arrived in the picturesque little town, and I immediately started to absorb the energy of the group. Everyone was super pumped to do the show, and they welcomed me like a long lost relative. Still, my stomach was in knots over the thought of going onstage. I have been in dozens of plays, but Burlesque was undiscovered country for me. There is nothing that I fear more than failure, but what better way to get broken in than to perform in a podunk town where I don't know anyone?
After a few shots and some herbal infusion, I got into my first costume and started to get into character. I would be playing the same character throughout my three numbers, a nerdy, awkward girl who evolves into a Burlesque vixen by the final number. My heart was pounding, and I was literally shaking in my high heeled boots. I watched some of the other girls perform, and grew even more nervous. There was no way I would be able to match their skills. Plus I had not heard any of the music the director chose for me so I would be improvising on the spot. Acting skills don't fail me now.
The show started full speed ahead, and before I could catch my breath it was my turn. I had two choices, I could either run screaming and crying from the bar, or I could suck up my nerves, and go for it. Being the gutsy bitch that I am, I went for it. The crowd was going crazy, screaming, cat calls, throwing money in the tip bucket. Their excitement and energy combined with that of the other performers, fueled me, and I shook what my momma gave me.
It was one of the best nights I have had in months. There is nothing more cathartic than getting onstage and going for it, losing yourself in a character, letting it flow from every part of your body. I was lucky to have such a great crowd for my first show. Everyone in town was so welcoming and accomodating, and the performers in Bawdy Blue are top notch.
Burlesque celebrates women like very few other art forms. You don't have to look like the average, tanorexic stripper. The women I shared the stage with were all drop dead gorgeous, and comfortable in their own skin. We were all different sizes and body types, but the key is owning who you are. It was impressive that the women in the audience were enjoying the show as much as the men, but then again, girls do love boobies.
I am still coming down from the high and nursing a bit of a hangover, but I couldn't have asked for a better experience when losing my Burlesque virginity. I have always believed that the only way to conquer fear is to walk through it, easier said than done most times. As a performer, I always want to grow and stretch myself, and last night, I did. Thank you to the lovely people in Virgina, Mn for being so welcoming, and to all of the amazing people I shared the stage with. Bawdy Blue, I am so in love with you, I am going to get your name tattooed on my face.

Swan's Song: Review of Black Swan

I am the biggest movie snob in the world. Most films that the majority of the population seems to love, I can't stand. I refuse to watch "Avatar", anything with Meg Ryan, and I was not all that impressed with "Juno", especially since I work with teen moms everyday. So when I kept hearing all of the hype about the film, "Black Swan", I was skeptical. I assumed it was another sappy, chick flick involving Natalie Portman choosing between two men. I was pleasantly surprised.
The film grabbed me by the balls right away. Ok, so I don't have balls, but ovaries just doesn't sound quite as fun. From the first scene to the last, I was on the edge of my seat, and a few times I almost wet myself. Not only was the acting superb, the camera work visually stunning, but the story took enough twists and turns to satisfy a teenaged roller coaster junkie.
I have always been a fan of Portman, just not necessarily of all of her work. She stole my heart in "Beautiful Girls", and she still has it. If there is any actress in this day and age who could coast by on looks alone, it's Portman with her doe eyes and timeless elegance. She possesses the poise and grace of an Audrey Hepburn, and the way she uses her eyes on camera is amazing. I was absoultely blown away by her in "Black Swan."
The film exhibited absoultely flawless casting from Mila Kunis as a sassy, sexy ballerina to Barbara Hershey as a crazed stage mother, and let's not forget Winona Ryder, who displays some of her best acting yet in an unforgettable cameo. If this film does not garner any award nominations for its actors, I will boycott all of the award shows, and the dreamlike sex scene between Kunis and Portman was hotter than any porno I've ever seen, and I have seen two.
Do yourself a favor, and go see this film. It is a little on the dark side, and I am sure there are some out there who will not enjoy it, but those people obviously have terrible taste in films.

So This is The New Year

Happy 2011!! A new decade is upon us!!!! This is the year that everything will fall into place. Life will be rich and meaningful, and it will beat the shit out of the last ten years. I know this is true because Confuscious put it in my fortune cookie when I ordered from Great Dragon the other night. Happy New Year to the six people who read my blog. Here's a lovely quote from Mark Twain my friend, Zach shared with me this morning:
" New Year's Day? Now is the accepted time to make your annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."
In light of that here are a few of mine for the year:
-Write and blog everyday
-Keep exercising and eating healthy
-Travel, finally go to Asia
-Make the much talked about move to NYC
-Possibly go on a date with someone who is not a mutant
-Produce my web series
-Love myself and others more
-Volunteer more
-More tattoos
Happy 2011!! New Year, New Possibilities